Author: Mark Wilkinson
New Government Careers Policy to be less of a step change and more of a step back – to 1850!
With a new government will come a new careers policy.
And we’ve seen a few of these.
From the rise and fall of Careers and Connexions Services and the passing of Records of Achievement and Progress Files (without mentioning the days of TVEI and 14-19 Diplomas).
And what progress has been made – no seriously what progress has been made?
Sure the quality in careers standard has morphed through this period to be become a bedrock of continuity.
It watches from the side lines as successive governments build and destroy delivery structures with the joyous abandon of my son with his lego bricks.
So what’s the alternative?
Evidence, facts and logic have deserted the political argument.
So let it leave careers policy making as well.
Michael Gove did try this approach when Education Secretary.
However he was not radical enough.
Rather than take careers education back to the 1950’s we needed to go back to the 1850’s.
With the government building an entirely new type of careers service.
One not based on evidence and research but instead based on phrenology and the hypothesis of nominative determinism (people do what their name suggests).
This new service will be called The Vocophy Service, named after Richard’s 1881 text book on phrenology and vocational guidance.
It will be delivered in schools by school nurses, upskilled so they can feel bumps on the head whilst completing any nit checks.
Hairdressers will deliver the universal service, having taken an additional phrenology module as part of their training.
A blow dry and head rub will become de rigueur.
And a school’s careers education curriculum will have students streamed by name.
After all how many people with the surname ‘Windsor’ do you know working in a Scunthorpe chicken factory?
The government will ignore this plan and instead continue to deliver careers policy using the successful formula outlined at the start.
And I will instead ask the Monster Raving Looney Party to place The Vocophy Service at the heart of its next manifesto.
Happy Holidays – and remember to brush up on your phrenology skills.